This is a story of pain and horror and blood. Games are meant to be fun and happy but the most dangerous of all games was spotlight. We started out fine everyone started laughing and hiding and there's chairs that we can hide in. We were trying to get to the playground where all the kids tried catch other kids. When we played the game I was running like crazy all the lights make it look like a prison escape. I was the prisoner and the playgrounds were the gates to freedom. The first person to have an accident was a girl named lulu she was so close to the freedom until she fell over the wooden ramp and hurt herself pretty badly and then she was drag back to prison. Next a girl named Megan tripped over gravel and got gravel inside her knee it was gruesome and gross. Next was a boy named Sairusi he greased his ankle pretty badly. Then we got people tripping over trees and bushes. But they did recover quick and I did make it. As soon the game was over the memory's we had of blood and pain was stuck forever!!!!!!.
I think I'm going well on my writing because I'm comparing the situation to others to help connect my read to make it more interesting and my next step to writing is to put full stops in right place and fix capital letters.